Laughter filled her house. She heard tiny footsteps pitter-patter down the hall as children played happily together, imagining they were explorers on a hunt for the lost treasure. Her heart swelled with joy at the sounds of their innocence. She was the mother of many happy children, but a sense of sadness lingered over her.

Just moments before, screams and whimpers had filled her house. They were her screams. She was on the verge of completely losing it on the kids after her multiple attempts to get them to listen to her, to hear her. She stepped away, leaving her children whining behind the child safety gate. She ran to her room and laid her head down on a tear-stained pillow and cried softly. Thoughts of doubt, guilt and defeat entered her mind. “I am the most horrible mother ever.” “How could I let myself get that frustrated?”

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*Steffany is a contributor for Austin Moms Blog (AMB). This post was originally written and published by AMB.